I rejoined dating apps about four months ago. I know, after my “why I deleted my dating apps” post, many people didn’t think I would ever go back. However, I’m only human and I obviously has some type of desire to find love. Depends on the day, but overall, I’d like to find someone eventually.
So I downloaded Bumble, the only one I’ve ever had some type of “success” on, and got to swiping. I read through bios, looked at images, and once matched, came up with witty, thoughtful, sometimes lazy, first liners. And you know what I got in return…?
Radio silence. Bland conversation. No questions about me or my life.
I don’t know about other people, but 8/10 messages I would send would come up with no reply and an annoyed Casie. And if I got a response? I would hold the entire conversation, without being asked one single question about me or my life.
Now, I understand that typically it’s best to try to get off of the app and into a first date relatively quickly, but that’s not how I work. I need to see that you can hold some type of conversation over a text before meeting up with you. Your bio and images aren’t enough for me to want to meet you. My schedule is usually full and I don’t have any weekends to spare for first dates (seriously, I rarely have a free weekend).
So, I’m not here to talk about the radio silence guys, at least my time isn’t being wasted by you. I’m here to talk about the guys who don’t know how to ask any type of questions to get to know me better.
Listen, I’ve gone onto these apps with zero intention of actually trying to make a connection. I’ll admit it. Even now I would say I’m not 100% down for a committed relationship. I’m not even sure if I want to go on dates with anyone right now. But I could easily be swayed.
So, fellas. Ask questions. Try to get to know us. Just because we’re on the dating app where girls lead with the opening, don’t let us be the ones to fully carry the conversation. I love asking questions, but I can’t hold a conversation if a guy is showing no interest in who I am.
While I’m no love expert (far from it, amirite?), I don’t think this is the only way to meet someone you’re compatible with. I do believe in it and I am thankful it has brought some of my greatest friends love. But, just know your timeline is different than others and dating apps can be really challenging to connect with someone.
And that’s that,
P.S. Have you had similar experiences on dating apps? Or is it just a Minnesota thing? Because when I was in DC matching with fellas, they were all very inquisitive.
P.P.S. I’ve provided two examples of messages between myself and men I matched with for proof.