Every now and again, I try to cleanse myself of the things that are dragging me down. Whether that be taking time to be alone, taking time to go to the gym, or taking a break from social media, I usually recognize when I’m more focused on things outside of myself and my mental health.
So, over Independence Day weekend (yeah, the US just loves any chance to celebrate), I decided to stop checking my social media apps. For many reasons, honestly, but the main reason was I didn’t have any plans and I didn’t want to see everyone else enjoying themselves while I was chilling at home, alone. I knew I needed the time alone and I knew I wanted the time alone, so I didn’t want my F.O.M.O. to ruin the nice weekend I was about to have.
Something crazy that I noticed while not on social media over a holiday weekend, very few people actually reached out to me. Which is fine. It’s a holiday weekend and almost everyone I usually talk to had plans with family and friends. It just felt strange not talking to people as much as I normally would.
Secondly, my muscle memory got me in trouble a few times. I couldn’t believe the moments I would open my apps and be like “Casie Marie! What the actual heck?” and close them immediately.
What I loved most about taking the time away from social media apps is I was able to focus on other parts of my life. I went to the gym, I bullet journaled, I finished a book, I hung out with a good friend, I met new people, I spent intentional time with my parents. I spent time not looking at my screen and looking at the people right in front of me.
I never realized how much I let my worth be determined by my interactions online. Whether it be likes on a photo, a text message from a friend, or how many followers I have. And this weekend truly opened my eyes to what needed to change.
Did I feel incredibly lonely at times? Yes.
Did I have moments where I totally forgot social media exists? Absolutely.
Did I end up feeling okay and realize I didn’t miss all that much? Undeniably so.
It’s weird to admit it was challenging to stay away from social media. It’s weird to say “I allow my worth to be determined by likes on a photo”. It’s weird to admit these things to people who read this blog and care deeply about me if I was on social media or not.
Taking that time helped me realize that I need to make a change and I need to continue to do things that better myself outside of sharing it with the world (says the girl writing a blog about her life and experiences – oh the irony). Do I want you all to enjoy my posts and engage with me? Yes, so much – thank you again for even reading this nonsense. But I don’t want the success (or failure) of this blog to define me.
I’m going to start truly living my life and sharing it with you. Because this blog is basically my diary and this is more so for me and my terrible memory than anything else.
Thanks for reading,
P.S. I thought of a few ideas for posts that make me live outside of my comfort zone and it’s about to get real.