Confidence is a tricky word. It’s temperamental, selective, challenging, stubborn, and once you have it, life-changing. I struggle with my confidence on a daily basis, as do many of my peers and friends. There are days where I feel worth the millions of dollars professional athletes make and there are days where I feel like I don’t even deserve the penny I found outside of my car before walking into Target (yes, that’s where I find most pennies on the ground…weird, right?).
Exuding confidence takes practice. It takes patience and humility. It takes understanding the many layers and embracing every single one of them. It takes knowing it is not only skin deep.
So how does one achieve this level of confidence? Well, I don’t know. I haven’t mastered the skill. Confidence to me not only means being confident in your outward appearance, but also believing in your personality, skill set, and overall moral values. It means being able to believe in something and standing up for it without hesitation. It means understanding that you may not please everyone, but that’s okay, because you are exactly who you were created to be.
No. I haven’t mastered that.
I have my days where I can make everyone believe in me and see how confident I am. And I have my days where I need reassurance and hope people are patient with me.
I am confident I am not perfect, but I was never created to be. I am confident I have a resentful heart, but am consistently filled with empathy, kindness, and love. I am confident that I say the wrong things at the wrong time, but I know when to humble myself and apologize for my actions and words.
I am confident I am on a journey to wholeness. I think there are so many times twenty-somethings get caught up in this idea that we are not whole until we find our other half. My friend, Monica, said it perfectly, “I am not in this to find my other half. I am a complete person, she is a complete person, and we are two complete people doing life together.” Then, I come across a poem by Rupi Kaur that seals the deal for me. Confidence comes in knowing you are whole. You are complete no matter what life throws at you next. You are equipped to take on the world alone, and do a kick butt job, might I add.
Confidence is hard. I haven’t figured it out, I don’t know many people who have completely embraced it and I’m not sure when I will. Here’s my advice: find confidence in one aspect of your life and then you’ll find it in others. It’s a ripple effect.