Take it or leave it. I’m learning as I’m going.
I’m starting to get life figured out. HA. Just kidding. Life is the most confusing thing to me now more than ever. Which, if you’ve been following my blogs lately, you could probably see that without me actually saying it. Yet, even during all of this time of being the main passenger (sometimes driver) of the struggle bus, I’m finding areas of life becoming more clear as my days move forward. So, I have some advice to give out. Remember, I’m a twenty-something, so take it or leave it.
Your worth is NOT dependent on others.
I cannot tell you how many times I belittled myself or saw myself in a dimmer light because I wasn’t fitting someones “ideal Casie”. Don’t continue to poison your mind with negative comments on how “he/she doesn’t like me” “they’re so good at this and I’m not.” “I feel like this group of people never wants to include me.” You know what you need to do? Focus on what makes you, you. Truly and honestly you’ll never be the same as someone else. People have things they’re good at. People have people they like to be around. And people like people for different reasons. You are worth SO much more than you tend to give yourself credit for. Embrace it.
Stop telling yourself you’re not good at things.
If you’re not the best at something it doesn’t mean you’re not good at it. If you aren’t comfortable with something, it doesn’t mean you’re not good at it. If you failed at something once and never tried again, it doesn’t mean you’re not good at it. Don’t make excuses for yourself. I always say, “Oh, I’m not good at relationships, that’s why I stick to being single.” Hi, not true… I just haven’t found someone I want to do the whole relationship thing with. Or, “Sports? No I’m no good at those.” Again, not true. I was an athlete once, I pick up on sports quickly, I’m just lazy. Don’t allow yourself to be excused from something because you’re “not good at it”. Push yourself a little harder.
Surround yourself with good people.
This seems obvious. “Duh, Casie, everyone wants to be surrounded by good people.” I know, like I said, obvious. However, it’s A LOT easier said than done. It’s taken me a long time to find friends who accept me for who I am as a person and love me unconditionally. You know when you have good friends? When you’re talking to your parents about your friends and they say, “You’re very fortunate to have the friends you do. Don’t let them go.” I’ve had five friends my parents have said that about. All five of those friends are still my number ones. I will never let them go.
Stop living in the future.
I am a planner. Type-A. I love figuring out next steps. When I finish breakfast – I start planning my lunch. So when I say stop living in the future, I’m directing this at myself too. We need to live right here, in the moment. We often overlook the small things, the conversations, the goofy moments – all because we’re focused on our plans for the night or weekend. So let’s turn off our brains and focus on one another and the moment.
Wow, is Casie really saying to embrace change? I’m the person who cries anytime she’s in a new situation. I don’t embrace change, no I have to adapt to it. So how is it possible to embrace it? The easiest thing I can say is, look for it. Find ways to jump outside of your comfort zone. Take the job where you don’t know anyone. Say yes to the date you aren’t too sure about. Try a new food that you thought you’d hate. You’ll never know the happiness you can find when looking for something new.
Taking advice from someone who has no idea what’s going on in life is a leap of faith. Every piece of advice I have written on here is advice I’m taking for myself as well. I am always trying to find ways to better myself and my life and I’m learning quickly to take each of these ideas and I’m running with them.
To all my twenty-something friends, what advice do you have for me? To anyone else reading this, what are the best lessons you can give us twenty-somethings?