I never realized how stressful life could get. Seriously. It’s ridiculously stressful. I mean, I’ve always dealt with stress in different ways. Sometimes, I just sit in silence and constantly tell myself, “it’s fine, it’s fine”, other times I get so stressed out that I become overly happy Casie where I can’t stop talking about how great the world is and how nothing is wrong, but most of the time, I become can’t breathe properly and cries a little bit or a-lot-a-bit Casie. While being a student I’ve noticed most of the time it’s the “I’m fine” stressed out Casie, but currently, it’s the “I can’t breathe properly and I’m just going to cry for a hot second Casie”. Want to know why? I’m trying to become an adult and get one of those job things.
I never realized how intimidating this process could be. I knew I needed to get my things together and focus on perfecting my resume, writing the most spectacular cover letter, and nailing down those references. But I think right there is the problem. I so desperately feel the need to make everything perfect or the best. Who knew I was a perfectionist? Certainly not me. I thought I was just working hard, giving professors what they wanted, and reaping the benefits of being a good student. Yet, over my college years, I’ve become someone where mediocre or “good enough” isn’t good enough anymore.
I think this realization is stemming from me so desperately wanting to get hired at a respectable university on a distinguished and creative marketing team. I have a fear of disappointing people and not getting a job within these next few months makes me believe I will disappoint a lot of people — which is SO not true. If I get a job, WAY TO GO, CASIE! If I don’t get a job, no worries, I’ll figure it out.
I’ve turned in one job application so far and I have two more in the works for this week. As stressed out as I am about this process, it’s also incredibly exciting and satisfying imagining myself at these different universities making content for them and doing what I love to do.
Each day gets a little more exciting when looking towards my future, but I know I only have 93 more days to enjoy being a college student. Instead of stressing out over my applications, I’m going to take it one job at a time and enjoy the rest of my college career.
See ya next week,